Today I am working from home, and just like most days, my second child, Makie, would be so clingy and I would have a hard time focusing on my deliverables. Earlier, she’s throwing a fit while I’m trying to keep my head above water. I am currently stressed over the changes that’s been happening at work and the tons of tasks that have to be done in a very short timeframe. How in the world would I fit cuddle time when I’m on work mode?
A few minutes ago I snapped at the little one for crying because she can’t understand that I have to work. Ironically, I took this job to have more time with the kids at home, but I can’t be mommy when I’m on work mode. It’s a sad reality of being a working mom. There’s just not enough time to be great at both.
So I let Makie cry it out. Mommy has to work and she has to suck it up. She’s now playing as I type this, but here I am feeling all guilty because there will be times she wanted to snuggle and I can’t be there for her. Now I’m taking a 15-minute break to type my thoughts in, hoping she’d be able to read this when she’s all grown up.
I know time will come when she won’t cry if I go to work. I know she will eventually get over her tantrums when things don’t go her way; or she will get over smelling my armpits when she turns a little older. Soon she will not be lying sideways and kicking us out of bed.
Sometime soon, I will not have a dirty face to wipe. I will not have to carry her when she says “up”. I will not have to wash her bum and kiss parts of her body that’s “ouchie”. I won’t fight to brush and tie her hair. She will not always be my small little girl and I know I have to seize every cuddle opportunity thrown my way.
I’m sorry baby for having to share mommy’s time but that’s how it is right now. We need to compromise because I am wearing too many hats. I’m sure you will understand when you grow a little bit older. For now, let’s enjoy our nightly snuggles before going to bed, and I promise we’ll have more on weekends. I’m glad you’re happy playing with Ate Kamie now, while I go back to work since my 15-minute break is over.
The Domestic Goddess Wannabe 