Reasons Why Some People are Unhappy

I’m writing this because I’ve been seeing unhappy people around me, and these people doesn’t even realize that they are not happy with how things are going in their lives. These people make others lives miserable as they thrive to create issues rather than live their lives to the fullest.

Circumstances can certainly make life unhappy. But a part, and often a big part, of unhappiness comes from our own thinking, behavior and habits. Here are some reasons why I think a lot of people are not happy with their lives:

1. Aiming for perfection – Life will never be perfect. The sooner you accept that, the better you will be. One doesn’t have to have a perfect hair, a perfect body, a perfect life to be happy. When we set the bar too high and we’re not able to get there, it usually leads to low self-esteem and feeling like we are not good enough even though we were able to produce fine results.

2. Living in a sea of negative people – It becomes a lot harder to be happier if you let yourself be dragged down by negative people. Who we socialize with, what we read, watch and listen to have a big effect on how we feel and think. Being with people that watch life from a negative perspective is tiring. We need to replace them with more positive influences and believe me, it can be like a whole new world opening up. So spend more time with positive people, inspiring music and books, movies and TV-shows that make you laugh and think about life in an optimistic way.

3. Getting stuck in the past and future too much – Spending much of your time in the past and reliving old painful memories, conflicts, missed opportunities and so on can hurt a whole lot. Spending much of your time in the future and imagining how things could go wrong at work, in your relationships and with your health can build into horrifying nightmare scenarios playing over and over in your head. Not being here right now in life as it happens can lead to missing out on a lot of wonderful experiences. Plan for the future, learn from the past but live in the now!

4. Comparing yourself and your life to others – One very common and destructive habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people. If you compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on, at the end of the day you either pummel your self-esteem to the ground or you breed envy towards the people you compare yourself with. Just be happy for others’ achievements and see how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. Remember that no matter what you do, you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

5. Focusing on the negative details in life – Seeing the negative aspects of whichever situation you are in and dwelling on those details is not only a sure way to make yourself unhappy but also help drag down the mood for everyone around you. Just accept that things and situations will have their upsides and downsides rather than thinking that all things have to be positive and excellent. Accept things as they are. This way you can let go emotionally and mentally of what is negative instead of dwelling on it and making mountains out of molehills.

6. Limiting life because you believe the world revolves around you – If you think that the world revolves around you and you hold yourself back because you are afraid what people may think or say if you do something that is different or new, then you are putting some big limits on your life. There are also some people who get mad because they assume people are talking about them. What they don’t realize is people don’t care too much about what you do. They have their hands full with worrying about their own lives and what people may think of them instead. So instead of thinking about yourself and how people may perceive you all the time, focus your attention on the people around you. Don’t assume and just spread positivity.

7. Overcomplicating life – Life can be pretty complicated. This can create stress and unhappiness. But much of this is often created by us. Yes, the world may be becoming more complex but that doesn’t mean that we cannot create new habits that make our own lives a bit simpler.

Unfortunate situations aside, happiness is a choice. We only have one life to live, let’s not dwell on the negative things that happen or are happening to us, instead let’s be thankful of the blessings we receive and keep a positive outlook. Let’s spread love, peace and joy and this world would be a better place to live in.

Signs If He’s “The One”

In light of our wooden wedding anniversary, I’m trying to recall the reasons why I said yes to marry my husband. As we all know, there is no precise answer to finding the perfect mate. It usually takes some time to discover if the person is right for you. Although we may wish to act solely on instinct, it is important to give it time before reaching that final decision. While finding love is not an exact science, here are simple signs you can use to determine if he is the one.

You Respect Each Other – When it comes to figuring out if he is the right one, respect should be at the top of the list. Respect is also something that should go both ways. You can tell if you respect each other when both of you are willing to compromise. You are considerate with each others concerns and feelings. You value each other’s opinions. You appreciate each other and are genuinely happy when each of you succeeds.

If you find that neither of you is willing to compromise and dismisses each other’s concerns and becomes jealous of each other’s achievements, you need to take a minute to assess the level of respect that exists in your relationship.

You Can Be Yourself With Him – You will never be appreciated or valued by a man who tries to change you. So if you can be who you really are when you are with him, he might just be the right one for you. This means he doesn’t only accepts the good in you, but also your weaknesses and faults.

When you can be yourself with someone, you will experience a sense of freedom. You will have confidence in knowing that he accepts you just as you are and will be comfortable to be yourself around him. If you lie about who you are, or change to fit someone else’s standards, it’s a tell-tale sign that your relationship will eventually fail.

He Has the Qualities You’re Looking For – If you have a good idea of the qualities you are looking for, it will help you determine if he is the right one. Keep in mind that nobody is perfect, thus, some qualities are probably negotiable. Make sure you have a firm list of the non-negotiable traits. Otherwise, you might fall into the trap of trying to change your standards. Don’t settle for less. Again, you should never change your standards to fit someone else. Some people go into relationships thinking, things will eventually change. Remember that you can’t make someone who they are not.

If he meets each of your non-negotiable qualities in the list, chances are, he’s the right one for you.

You Share the Same Values – Values really make up who we are. If you find yourself compromising your values in order to please someone else, then you are essentially trying to change yourself and that is never a good sign in a relationship. Values are something that should be discussed ahead of time. You can even actually see his values early on in the relationship by just keeping an open eye.

If he doesn’t seem to have any values, that might be another red flag to look for. A man of real substance is flexible, but will possess firm, well-reasoned values, that hopefully coincide with yours.

Your Instincts Will Tell You – Your gut feel should never be ignored. At the sam e time, it should never be the deciding factor. Your intuition should serve as a guide, something you rely on when considering whether or not he is the right one. Intuition is more than just how physically attracted you are towards him. It goes beyond to a place deep inside where you just seem to “know.” It’s usually just a sense or a feeling that this person is the right one.

More often than not, our instincts are right. Of course, our best instincts can be wrong and someone can present themselves to be something that they are not. This is why intuition is only one sign to consider in determining if he is the right one for you.

I’m sure there are a million and one more things that should be taken into consideration to actually say that you found the right guy for you. But the signs mentioned above are good enough to assess if you found someone for keeps. I know this, because I did.